Caught In The Whirlwind
Posts tagged feelings
An Ocean Of Blah
Feb 14th 2007
I need to write this up now because if I don’t, I’m going to start thinking that I really shouldn’t be saying anything in public. Moment of weakness, here we go!
Warning: If you don’t really care about personal feelings than you might want to skip reading the rest of this.
I’ve been feeling very…blah the past couple days. I’m not sure if I’d go so far as to say depressed, but it feels like it’s in that general area of blah-ness. I’m not entirely sure why either. Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m in over my head in a lot of things, like schoolwork.
Especially this desktop publishing class. I have a feeling I’m setting myself up for failure on this one because I’m spending a lot more time concentrating on western civ. I’m not a design guy…and the class seems more geared towards the artsy types, so I’m having a hard time with the concepts that he seems to assume everybody knows. I’m probably going to talk with the instructor about it later.
Then there’s socially, which I really don’t feel like getting into on a public forum, but…blah.
And all this is tacked onto my growing dissatisfaction with my job and where I’m generally at in life right now.
I’m just not doing very well at the moment, I think. Maybe it’ll pass. It has before, but it seems like I’ve been spending more and more time recently feeling blah. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not really happy most of the time, instead moving from one island of happiness to another in a sea of “blah”.
Ok…I think that’s quite enough about that.
I Feel…Normal
Nov 13th 2006
I’ve been in kind of a weird mood today, so far. But then it occurs to me that this is the first time in quite a while I’ve felt, well…normal, at least at work. I’m not entirely sure why. All I know is I haven’t felt cheerful during the day in quite some time, so I figured I should document the occasion.
This is doubly weird because tonight is my class night, so I won’t get home until around 9:30 or so. I spent some time yesterday at my parents house with my laptop, trying to escape from the pull of Final Fantasy long enough to finish writing my essay assignment for my history class.
1776 by David McCullough
Speaking of history, It’s kinda interesting going back through and taking US history again, but at a college level. It’s intriguing to me what you don’t learn in high school about certain events. Everything seems to be slanted a bit to paint a rosier picture of the events of the past. Take Christopher Columbus, for example. All the history books mention that he set out from Spain to find Southeast Asia/India and ended up in the New World, sparking an influx of European interest. I hadn’t learned until recently, however, that he wasn’t a really nice guy…contributing to the torture and enslavement of many of the natives of the islands there. Oops. And the revolutionary war (which I learned about when I read 1776 last month), learning how desperate the struggle really was and how it could have fallen apart at any moment.
Perhaps it’s because I’m more aware of the events happening in the world today than I was in High School, or that my current class is showing me that things weren’t quite what I thought they were. It makes it even more interesting that my teacher was also my high school history teacher, so I can kinda compare and contrast what we learned there with the way the information is presented now.
Lies My Teacher Told Me - James Loewen
I guess the whole point of this is I’m started to get interested in historical type books. Like I mentioned, I read 1776 last month, which I finished in roughly 3 days, so I’m starting to wonder what else is out there. My teacher mentioned a book by James W. Loewen titled Lies My Teacher Told Me which kinda goes along with this subject. I just ordered it on amazon, along with the 4th book in the Wheel of Time trilogy (gee, anyone who looks at my order is going to be a little confused I think.) We’ll see how it is, from my teacher and the reviewers it’s a pretty good comparison of different history textbooks and what they say about specific events. I find it hard to learn about what books might be interesting to me though…can be hard to wade through the piles of crap, especially when I’m jumping into an area where I haven’t really had much interest in the past.
I’ve rambled on long enough about this stuff, so I should probably get back to work.
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